Strangers In The Night
The World According To Kiki & J-Fed
When J-Fed moved out, I truly believed that he'd move back in. It's temporary, I told myself. When we got divorced, I convinced myself that it was just a break. We were soulmates. Nothing could tear us apart. When we said "til death do us part," we meant it. Even after the divorce was final, we still had family dinners, watched movies and took vacations together.
Then one day, it all stopped. J-Fed no longer came around the house as much. He was distant when we spoke on the phone. The more we grew apart, the worse we began to fight. I had to finally admit to myself that the eternal flame had been extinguished. We were no more.
"Move on. I'm not in love with you anymore," he told me on numerous occasions. The truth hurt. I had stood by him through thick and thin. I had always been at his beck and call. I could only be so lucky to one day have someone love me as much as I loved him.
It wasn't long before we became strangers. Two people who were only connected by the birth of two children. There were no ties that bound us together. As the days went by, we spoke less and less. I've started to forget what he looks like. I no longer remember what it's like when he smiles or laughs. There is no charisma or spark between us. It's as if our 10 years together never even happened.
I guess that's how it goes. That's divorce. Nothing lasts forever. As we celebrated our daughter's sixth birthday, it's hard to believe that just six years ago we were starting our life together. And now, it's already over. Hell, if memory serves me right, we did have another baby just 10 months ago... and we've already been divorced more than five months. You do the math...
The last of his stuff has been removed from the house. There's no longer any pictures of him anywhere. Not one. In fact, it's as if he had never been here. Sometimes late at night, I try to eradicate the memories from my mind. It's better to forget he once was here. I've thought about replacing my king size bed with a single so I don't feel so lost in the nothingness.
