Supportive Counsel

My marriage counselor was very supportive of my decision to leave.  More than a month ago, he said he didn’t see the point in me continuing marital counseling.  That blow had been devastating... a counselor telling me my marriage wasn’t worth fighting for?  Mr. Hyde was unwilling to stay and listen to the counselor.  He stormed out of the office twice; the last time leaving less than five minutes into the session and literally driving off and leaving me at the appointment alone while he went out for fast food.

I told the counselor about my plans to leave and he said I was not the same person who came in more than five months ago to start counseling.  “You are a kind, caring and giving person and I’ve watched you wither away in the last few months.  I can see it in your face and the way you carry yourself; this is affecting your health which is the second most important thing in your life.  Your kids are the first.  You are making the right choice for the right reasons.”

He listened to me complain about how Mr. Hyde was blaming everything on me; how the marriage failing was my fault because I just didn’t try hard enough.  Mr. Hyde wasn’t willing to take even one small fraction of blame for things going bad.  “He never accepted responsibility before; why would it change now?”  The counselor wisely asked.

He encouraged me to just get through the next week or so the best way I could and focus on the goal.  He built up my self esteem by focusing on all my positive qualities.  All I could think was, “If Mr. Hyde had told me this things, maybe we wouldn’t be in this situation,” but honestly, I’m sure I would have reached this conclusion eventually.  Better now than years from now, right?