The Danger of Downsized Dreams
Do I Need To Slap You?
I think the biggest loss I’ve had as a result of the crashing economy is not my 401(k), not the value of my home, not my overall loss of net worth, not financial liquidity, but my loss of optimism.
My optimism was always one of my best qualities (in my opinion). It fueled my ambitions and my creativity. It allowed me to take risks – without fear – experiment, try new things, and dream.
Now I’m in a funk. I worry that if I lose my job it will be very hard to find a new one. I worry that I don’t have a big enough cash cushion. I worry my tenant will move out and I’ll have to dump my rental property for peanuts. I worry that I’m not enjoying the moment. I worry that I’m not working enough. I’m not sleeping well. I’m not concentrating well. My brain is reined in by pessimism.
The ONLY good thing is I’ve lost my appetite and I can get back into my “skinny” jeans. (That’s always the way it is for me, by the way – blobby and happy, or miserable and svelte)
My dreams have TOTALLY been downsized. Whereas before I was thinking about making a million with a new product/company/book and buying the house of my dreams and getting a new car, NOW I dream about not having any major health issues and keeping my job so I can continue to pay all my bills. That’s it.
Some would say having simpler dreams or desires is a good thing. Perhaps so – but in my case it has come hand in hand with fear about the future.
Where did this negativity come from?? I don’t get it. Actually NOTHING about my personal situation has changed in the last few months or even year. In fact, it’s actually gotten better. The problem is, I’ve allowed all these outside factors to affect me and penetrate my little bubble of optimism. What the news says, seeing people I know go through hard times, and projecting what could happen to me. In other words, if THIS happens and THAT happens and THAT happens all at the same time, I’m SCREWED.
I’ve always been good at having what I call a little “escape route” emergency plan. I always knew what I would do in the worst possible scenario. Now I don’t feel so confident about it.
And worst of all, I don’t feel so confident about me. It really pisses me off, because if I go back and think about what it was I wanted to achieve, I actually achieved it. I DID do what I set out to do. So if I didn’t achieve something else more, it’s probably because I didn’t set out to do it.
To me, that’s the biggest problem with downsized dreams – they generate downsized results. If you only ever desire to “just get by,” that’s all you’ll ever achieve. And you get yourself into this terrible little hole where you measure success by “just getting by.” Pretty soon you will begin to believe that’s the extent of your ability: just getting by. It’s a poisonous attitude.
I am exactly the same person I was 6 months ago. I have not had major brain damage to affect my faculties or abilities (to the best of my knowledge). All my years of experience and training have not all of a sudden evaporated. My brain’s “net worth” is still the same.
Frankly, the only thing standing in the way of restoring my full-sized dreams and optimism to their pre-2009 levels is…me.
Do I need to slap you? Maybe. But I know one thing for sure. One person who really needs a good slap upside the head is me.
