The Emergency Girlfriend Network

Girlfriends are lifesavers.  Without them I would go completely insane.  Being able to vent to my girlfriends makes it possible for me to go back home fresh for the battle.  They empower, enlighten and just plain cheer me up when I’m stressed out.

I had wonderful girlfriends back in my hometown.  We were like the girls from Sex and the City sharing all the details of our lives with each other.  If any of us was hurting, the rest of us were there with the tissues, the checkbook or offering to kick the dumb guy’s ass that caused the trouble. 

I treasured these girlfriends, but when I married Mr. Hyde and moved three states away, it was only natural that our relationship would suffer.  We couldn’t meet up at our favorite hang out.  A phone call wasn’t the same as having an actual shoulder there to cry on.  Things just weren’t the same.

My girlfriends had warned me about such a drastic move; I would be far from friends and family but I assured them that I was in love and Mr. Hyde was going to take good care of me... fool that I was.

Almost immediately I discovered his mood swings and how they would lead to terrible shouting matches with temper tantrum symptoms like slamming doors, throwing objects that meant something to me or squealing tires as he peeled out of the driveway at 2am because he was pissed.  I talked to my girlfriends less and less because I was embarrassed... they had been right and I had made a huge mistake in voluntarily isolating myself from everyone.

I couldn’t admit I was wrong and look like a fool. Besides, I could handle this. I could somehow make things work out.  I tried fighting, I tried fleeing and I tried to track his mood patterns to see if there was a predictable cycle.  For awhile I had the schedule down and would lie low when I knew he was ‘due’ for a bad period.  I would apologize for everything whether I felt I was in the wrong or not because it was just easier that way.  Occasionally he would admit his mistake and apologize, but the vast majority of the time, he was unwilling to accept his faults or wrong doings.