The Ex's 10 Commandments

My ex and I have been apart for a couple of years now. Sometimes, it’s hard for me to remember the specifics of his crazy antics. Then I read the other blogs on this site and it jogs my memory!

In his previous incarnation as my husband, the ex had very specific likes, dislikes and preferences. I like to think of these as THE EX’S 10 COMMANDMENTS.

10. Thou shalt not use fabric softener on my clothing. For if you do, it will make the clothing “stick” to my body and I shall complain excessively.

9. Thou shalt not cook any type of meat product to an internal temperature of less than 225 degrees. While this may make the food taste like shoe leather to most, I fear foodborne diseases.

8. Thou shalt not expect me to pay bills on time.

7. Thou shalt not ask me to throw away garbage.

6. Thou shalt not ask me to come home at a reasonable hour.

5. Honor the fact I must listen to the television at top-volume, even if it is 3 a.m. on a Tuesday.

4. Remember that Tuesday is poker night, and I must not be disturbed.

3. Thou shalt not ask me to a miss movie night, golf night, or happy hour with my friends, even if these events take up six out of seven nights during the week.

2. Thou shalt not ever ask me to reign in my spending. I shall purchase what I want, when I want.

1. Thou shalt recognize that my wants and desires come FIRST.