The Gift

So for the moment, J-Fed and I had been brought together by our grief. A cease fire was called as all of our energy and raw emotions were directed toward the loss of our sweet little man.

It had been less than 24 hours when J-Fed called and shocked the living crap out of me.

“Listen, I have a surprise for you,” he said sweetly. “I’m picking up a puppy at 6 p.m. tonight.”

I almost dropped the phone. Overcome with emotion, I told him I didn’t know if I was ready. It had only been a day and a half since we had said goodbye to our baby. J-Fed didn’t want to hear it. I was stunned by the fact that he would do something so unprecedented and so thoughtful.

As promised, he delivered a beautiful 8-week-old fawn boxer to me. My heart melted. He was to die for with his big chocolate eyes and oversized paws. Truth be told, he looked like Cain when he was younger. My tears dried and I felt a ray of hope that I hadn’t felt since Cain was first diagnosed with cancer.

You see, Cain was a bit of a legend. Back in the day, J-Fed and I did a lot of entertaining, and Cain and Abe had long been fixtures on “the scene.” I can’t tell you the emails, IMs and text messages that I was flooded with from people sending their regards. Even J-Fed made the comment that he couldn’t believe how well-loved Cain was. I guess what was most surprising was that while our divorce came and went with very little discussion by anyone, the death of our beloved dog shook a lot of people of.

This brought me to a quick realization on two fronts – people loved our dog but loathed our marriage. It was ironic and funny in the same breath.

Anyways, part of me had a nagging guilt that I was moving too soon and not paying enough homage to Cain. How could we replace him so soon? Hell, my marriage had died seven months ago and I could still barely bring myself to speak to another man.