The Little Piggy Went To The Cleaners

She sat in the nail salon, yapping on her cell phone without a care in the world. Seven years ago, it was a different story. Her smile quickly transforms into a grimace as she talks about "him." When they exchanged vows, she never expected the day to come when he would one day up and walk out of her life. Of course, she never expected that she'd be David and he'd be Goliath.

Money talks, and BS walks. Well, her husband had a lot of both. He hired the most expensive lawyer he could buy while she sat in the chambers unrepresented due to a lack of funds. Instead of working, she had assumed the role of wife and mother. Now, it seemed like she might end up paying for her decision.

As they went back and forth about the terms of their divorce, the judge looked at her husband and noticed he hadn't made any requests regarding visitation.

"I'm confused," said her husband. "Visitation of my wife or my son?"

The judge narrowed his eyes at the "man" sitting before him.

"Why would you have visitation of your wife?" he asked the husband.

"Well, I've been sexing her up for the last 15 years and nobody knows how to do it the way I do," the man replied cynically.

In a fury, the judge laid down the law and ordered the husband to pay $2,500 a month in alimony and $1,500 a month in child support, all in the name of stupidity. She now owns a four bedroom home in an upscale community that she's been able to afford on his dime without ever lifting a finger.

It's no wonder she's always smiling.