The Second Coming of J-Fed

Christmas came early this year. And by that, I mean that J-Fed has been on his best behavior over the last couple of months. Aside from one really wicked screaming match that occurred via phone, it's been pretty quiet. In fact, I feel like I've gotten a new lease on drama-free living. And me likes it alot.

For starters, the Fedster hasn't brought The Other Woman around in months, and that in itself is nothing short of a miracle. I no longer feel the need to shower whenever I'm in his presence. I'm not sure whether he's recently been visited by the ghosts of conscious past, but something has kicked his ass into gear. He has steadfastly attended every activity -- from tennis lessons to dance lessons to family night. And he's done it all on his own accord. I haven't had to beg, plead, threaten or blackmail him into doing any of it.

But that's not all. The former Frap-drinking, chain-smoking, junk-food eating SOB has also morphed into a healthier version of his old self. He quit the coffee drinks, the Newports and the carbs all in one fair swoop. This means when I talk to him now, I no longer feel as if I'm face to face with an empty coffee pot and a full ashtray. The strides the Fedster has made to become a redeeming person are astounding. To be honest, I didn't think it could be done. This is good news and bad news. The good news is that he's going to live longer. The bad news? You guessed it, he's going to live longer.

In all seriousness, I'm happy that the Fedster is going to be alive and kicking for years to come. The girls are extremely attached to their father, and it would kill them if he met his demise to an untimely and an unfortunate death -- i.e. stroke, heart attack, cancer, brain tumor, vicious ex-wife still hellbent on getting revenge...