There’s no feeling quite like being the third wheel in your own marriage. When I was married to the great-and-powerful ex, I was the third wheel when he was with his best friend J, which was virtually 24/7. I used to explain to the ex that his relationship with J wasn’t healthy and was damaging our marriage.
Once, I presented him with a list of how his relationship with J was a little strange for a married man. He read one sentence of the list, basically told me to shut the f up, he knew I wasn’t going anywhere. He was right. I stayed put for a long time. However, I finally did leave. To celebrate that fact, here is the list for your reading pleasure…
Examples of how your relationship with J is bizarre, codependent, and basically unhealthy:
1. J sleeps over our house three or four nights per week. This is because you’re, “too tired” to drive him home late at night. The man has a car and a license. Why you had to pick him up anyway is beyond me.
2. You and J go out to dinner and or movies together four of five nights per week.
3.When we purchased a new patio set, you insisted that there were enough chairs for J.
4.You and J have the cell phone family plan. I am not included on this plan.
5.You and took a trip to Montreal because J wanted a vacation and didn’t have anyone else to go with him. We didn’t have the money to spend on the trip, but you went anyway. We hadn’t been away on a night alone in a LONG time.
6. You can take days off of work to go shopping with J, but you can’t take a day off when our kid is sick.
7. You and J spoke for over 1,000 on your cell phones last month.
8. When I need to contact you, I have to call J since you won’t take my calls. He’s usually right next to you.
Does this behavior seem a little off to you? The sad thing is, I really liked J. He’s a good person. From what I gather, J and ex don’t see each other very often any more. I guess the honeymoon ended. I sympathize...it's hard to put up with the ex's antics on a long-term basis.