The Ugly Duckling

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting the same results. I am guilty of this. So by reason, I must be insane. You see, somehow I manage to fall for J-Fed over and over. It’s like he casts this spell over me, and I’m consumed by it every time.

I guess that’s what happened when he come up to the mountains and wooed me over once again. We had the time of our lives. There was no fighting, no arguing. It was picture perfect… until I realized we were a Monet. That’s right. Beautiful from far away but pretty damn ugly upon closer inspection.

Then we went our separate ways and reality set in. He blew me off like I was some doting schoolgirl he was done with. To add insult to injury, he told me that my problem was that I wanted him back. However, that’s not the case. We didn’t work together, just as we don’t work apart. Actually, there is no "we" as he constantly reminds me. So what’s a girl to do when she’s once again rejected by the man she doesn’t want? She joins an online dating website in a fury.

Yes, I did that same old drill again. As I entered my credit card I knew it was partly out of spite for the fact that he had moved on while I was going nowhere fast. Now, I realized the last thing I needed was another man, but that didn’t stop me from entering my credit card number.

This would be cake, I thought to myself. I was a good writer so I’d have no problem putting myself out there. I made a comfortable living. I was intelligent. I loved to cook. I had a good sense of humor. What man wouldn’t want me?

I was gleeful as I rolled through the 30-minute profile. I was thrilled at the possibility of being able to find someone else who had children who would thoroughly enjoy spending quality time with my kids and I. I refused to be deterred by my last online match that left me face to face with the booger-picking bandit.