Time Is Not On His Side

Ah, it was another lovely Saturday morning where the ex was supposed to pick our son up for the weekend. Son didn’t really feel like leaping out of bed at 7:45 a.m., so he said he was going back to bed, even though his father was supposed to pick him up at 8:00 AM. Why? “Dad never shows up on time on Saturdays. He says he’ll be here at 8:00, and it’s usually close to 10:00. I’m not rushing around today.”

I have to give the ex some credit. He’s improved his ratio of timeliness significantly. He used to show up to events, literally, five and six hours late, or just not show at all. I understand occasional tardiness, I really do. But six hours late?

One time, in order to teach him a lesson, I didn’t show up to our designated meeting place on time; I showed up one hour late. This was in the days before cell phones. Ex left a message at my house, furious that I was so late, and he decided to leave. I later explained to him that he would get angry when I wouldn’t wait at the mall for him for SIX HOURS, so why couldn’t he cut me a little slack the one time I was “late?” No answer to that one.

Amazingly, the ex manages to show up to work early every single day. If he’s getting paid, or it’s something he really wants to do, he arrives to his location bright and early. Over the years, I learned that his lateness was just a passive-aggressive way of showing displeasure or controlling people.

I no longer engage in this stupidity. If he doesn’t show up on time to pick our son up, or call to let me know he’s going to be late, I carry on with our day. I refuse to be inconvenienced constantly because he’s uncooperative and passive-aggressive.