Time to forgive yourself
The Ex Files
In case you didn't know it from reading my blog, I'm kind of a Type A personality -
you know, wants to succeed at everything, hates to fail, and expects everyone to
make the same kind of effort I'm making.
So, I had a hell of a time dealing with getting divorced. This just couldn't be happening to me! It was a bizarre scenario that wasn't matching up to my vision of the future in any way, shape or form. And, it was the most profound failure I ever had to deal with. Two years later, I'm still dealing with it. I worry about the future and whether I'll end a bag lady, just scraping by. And I get to watch as my daughter struggles emotionally with the split. Her grades are starting to slip and she's had some anger issues. She's been sick a lot this school year and I think it has a lot to do with the stress and sadness she's experiencing.
And of course, I'm blaming myself for not seeing the divorce looming and not heading it off.
Because I'm so damn psychic, I should have done something sooner. I could have fixed it, right?
But as much as I hate to admit it. I'm far from perfect. So here are some things I try to remind myself, and I wanted to share them with you, because it might help whatever you're going through...So when you're feeling really crappy, try and remember this:
You are only human. And I hate to be the one that tells you this, but, you don't control the universe. Some things are way beyond your control. You can't change another person's heart. You can't supply all their needs. You did the very best you could. And even if you didn't, you're not a horrible person. What you're going through isn't punishment, it's just life. Silly, stupid, unreasonable, unexpected life. You can be your own worst enemy. But now's the time to be your best friend and wholeheartedly forgive yourself.
