Unforgiveable

Why is it when I say something it’s wrong but when HE says the same exact thing, it’s suddenly and miraculously right?  The flurry of nasty emails began yesterday.  He sends the first email asking what’s wrong with me and why am I depressed.  I tell him I don’t feel we are both working hard enough to really save the marriage -- our hearts don’t seem into it. 

He immediately went on the defense spouting off about how much he’s been trying and how much I’m not doing and starts a laundry list of things I don’t do.  He mentioned the wedding vows missing from the wall and asks what I ever did for him.  What did I ever give him?

How about my whole life, a**hole!  I picked up and moved away from everything to be here with him and not only does he not appreciate it, he won’t even ACKNOWLEDGE it.  He says it was my choice to make and yeah, he gave up stuff too.  To me he always sounds like the kid who continues an argument with "did not," "did too." 

The temper tantrum continued into the evening.  He brought his kids home to eat the meal I cooked and then promptly left afterwards for a couple of hours.  My son and I enjoyed the quiet house, talking to each other and laughing.  I called my daughters and talked to them.  But all the while, every slammed car door made us rush to the windows in fear that Mr. Hyde had returned.  

When they did finally return, he coldly avoided me all night, but was sure to stomp through the house and do things so I knew he was angry.  Last week, in a rare moment of kindness, he had replaced the swimsuit models on his desk calendar with pictures of me.  I thanked him for it and told him it was very sweet. I mentioned it to my girlfriends, but because I didn’t drop to the floor and kiss his feet, I guess I didn’t show enough appreciation for it.  He used it as a weapon against me all this week.