War of Words

As if Divorce Land couldn't get anymore stressful, my daughter is refusing to go to her dad's anymore because he is "mean" and acts like he "hates" her.  She thinks his girlfriend "hates" her and "doesn't want her around."  The girlfriend and the ex-husband have supposedly been talking about me, C, and the baby and my daughter has overheard it. 

They call us names that reference barnyard animals, and this past weekend my ex-mother-in-law called me a "bitch" within earshot of the children.  I made the mistake of telling the ex that my daughter doesn't want to see him anymore, that she gets sick when she knows she has to go over and sick when she comes home.  That started a war. 
 
Instead of keeping the conversation between the two of us he told the girlfriend and of course, it became her problem, too.  I don't know why I was surprised.  He shared his "mini me" with her while we were married, and she has yet to mind her own business and allow him to be a big boy. 

Last week C had it out with her over the holidays.  He decided it was time to stop taking her s***.  I thought the reign of The Golden Vagina had ended.  WRONG!  The girlfriend is now threatening to not let C see his kids, the ex is threatening to have me pay for upsetting them, and C and I got into a screaming match for the first time over those two idiots. 

My daughter's feelings seem to have gotten swept under the carpet again.
 
And get this -- I don't know if it is just a state law in PA or if it is a law period, but I cannot get my daughter counseling without the consent of her dad even though I have primary custody as per our custody agreement.  He, of course, refuses to give his consent.  He wants me to believe my daughter is lying and that all of this is my fault for "coddling" her.