What is with you people?

I have long been frustrated with guys who say they’re going to call, and then never do. It just irks me. If you’re not going to do it, don’t say you are. Don’t. Say. It. Because then I’m going to be waiting for you to call, and be pissed off when you don’t. Over a stupid thing you never intended to do in the first place.

But that’s not my latest frustration.

My LATEST frustration is with people who don’t respond at all. It’s not so much strangers. I know we’re all being bombarded by phone calls and paper junk and digital junk. If I send a stranger a business email unsolicited, I don’t really expect to hear something back – but I’m awfully delighted if I do. Even if it’s just an acknowledgement of receipt. But I kind of understand if I don’t hear anything back – after all, they never invited me to contact them.

But what is really folding my envelope right now is when people invite you to contact them, in fact maybe even MEET with you and STILL do not respond. Do not even have the business decency to say thanks, but no thanks. What is up with that?

Email communication gives us a wonderful cloak of invisibility. We can talk without having to talk. We never have to look in someone’s eyes. There are no ums and ahs in conversation. We have time to think about our response and time to cool down if we’re peeved. Plus it takes two seconds and costs nothing.

Why is it that so few people have the common decency (and now apparently UNcommon decency) to respond or get back to you? When did we lose this skill?

And when did kids stop sending their aunts, uncles and grandparents thank you notes for presents?  More importantly, when did the parents stop teaching their kids it was the right thing to do?

I dunno. I think I’m turning into an old fogie. Stuff like this didn’t bother me when I was younger – I guess because I was one of the people who automatically responded, and grew up knowing I should send thank you notes.

But now I’m on the other end of the receiving line. And I’m really disappointed. I’m disappointed at how common courtesy and good manners seem “quaint.” Being polite is nerdish and goony. Or only what they do in the military, or in some scary religious cult.

We don’t treat each other with respect – but then we don’t even treat our OWN SELVES with respect. We don’t demand that people treat us with respect, so why should they? We keep rewarding bad behavior, and making it easier for people, and lowering standards so they’re not offended and we don’t hurt their feelings.

And then we stop expecting or demanding that anyone will be courteous to begin with. Besides, we learn pretty early on we can get away with just about anything. If second chances are pretty much a guarantee for just about anything, there is no consequence for bad behavior. And very little reward for good behavior. We don’t value it so much anymore.

Watch any popular entertainment show, or read any gossip magazine, and it’s pretty darn obvious our culture feeds more voraciously on bad behavior than good. I’m sick of it.

I’m sick of the fashion for toughness and thuggish behavior and appearance. Heck, hippies in the 60’s were slobs, but at least they were mellow and wanted “love.” Doesn’t that seem outmoded and charming now?

When I was growing up, there was no such thing as “ADD” in schools. There were just loud kids who were misbehaving. They weren’t drugged into submission, they just learned how to behave in class, and release their nervous energy in the playground. They learned how to say “please” and “thank you” and didn’t grow up to flash their naked privates for  the cameras or pull their pants half-way down their butt-cheeks, or feel the need to bring knives or guns to school.

I don’t mourn the loss of the “good old days.” I’m just sorry moving forward has to mean taking the “civil” out of civilization.