What's A Telephone?

I was thinking back to the good old days with the ex-husband and I had to chuckle. How does a man make it to age 30 plus without learning to use a telephone? Wait, he knew how to use the telephone selectively.

Calling 18 friends and spending 19 hours on the phone with his pals was no problem. Calling his wife and telling her he wouldn’t be home all night was apparently impossible.

My ex regularly sauntered in at 3:00, 4:00, even 5:00 a.m. without so much as a phone call. For the first five or so years, I’d get nervous. I would imagine he was hurt, dead, incarcerated, etc.

I’d call hospitals, leave messages on his cell phone, etc. But eventually, he’d breeze through the door, telling me he didn’t call because he didn’t want to “upset me.” I explained repeatedly that it was the lack of calling that upset me!

Finally, after years of this nonsense, I just stopped caring and trying to track him down. After all, when he finally did show up on the doorstep, all we did was argue anyway.

Interestingly, while we were going through our divorce, he said when he was out all of those nights, I should have made a bigger effort to find him. I should have left the house and driven around looking for him.

Oh yes, what a great idea! Pack up a child at 3:00 a.m. and start driving around the state to locate a missing husband, five or six times a week. I think that’s a reasonable expectation, don’t you?

I didn’t think so. As my current husband would say, “That’s cuckoo crazy!”