Who's Been Sleeping In My Bed?
The World According To Kiki & J-Fed
They always say be careful what you wish for. Perhaps it's a maxim that J-Fed should have heeded. Dippy dumb dumb has spent the last year telling me to move on, get a life and find a damn boyfriend. At the time, as recent as four weeks ago, I believe he meant it.
But now the Fedster is learning that you reap what you sow. Poor sucker. Since he caught wind of Mr. Ex, he's been angrier than a bat out of hell. Apparently, he's experiencing some sort of shock and awe as a result of this unexpected fallout. He is flabbergasted that I met someone who I like that actually likes me back. Imagine that, will you?!
Apparently, there is a club for men who like "lazy, controlling, mean bitches." And Mr. Ex is a member!
It would appear that I somehow screwed up J-Fed's master plan. What that plan was I'm not exactly sure, but I'd suppose it went something like this.
J-Fed lives in his new kingdom, happy as a clam, dining and hanging out with T.O.W. (the other woman) on a regular basis. They shop, watch movies, pay the bills, share the holidays and do all of the other domesticated things that a man and a woman do when they're "just friends." For the next decade, and the decade after that, and the one right after that, J-Fed tries to convince me that "it's not like that" between them, despite speaking out the other side of his mouth on many other occasions. He gets his shits and giggles watching me crumble at the notion of having lost him forever.
Meanwhile, Kiki sits at home every night, pining for the man who tossed her out like yesterday's garbage. She leads a lonely, sexless life where the only manly affection she gets is from a slobbing 90-pound hound. She spends every holiday alone and never takes another romantic vacation again. (Oh wait! That was Kiki's life when she WAS married to J-Fed.) She tends to the children and they never know another man besides their father. She grows old, weary and even more bitter, swearing off the male species forever. She dies alone. Her tombstone is marked with two simple word's: "J-Fed's Bitch."
