I married my first husband when I was 24. We had so many problems prior to our wedding day, it was honestly a ridiculous idea to get married. I 100% admit that it was an idiotic, poor choice for me to marry him.
He proposed to me after a breakup. I had FINALLY gotten up the nerve to kick him out. My life was miserable. He was out with friends six or seven nights a week, spending money, having a great time, going to movies, dinners, casinos, clubs, etc. On the one or two nights he actually came home before 3 or 4 a.m. during the week, he'd have his friend J sleep over on our couch. Not because he was drunk... just for company.
He always told me I was too demanding, I should give him his space, etc. Fine. But did "space" mean I had to be completely responsible for all child care, house cleaning, cooking, shopping, etc. while working full-time and he got to do what he pleased? Maybe I'm crazy, but that seemed a bit unfair.
Fast forward a couple of weeks. He came home with flowers, apologizing, telling me he'd change. I didn't believe it, but I felt I had to give him a chance. We had a young son, and I was terrified of ending up living with him on crackhead street in some dangerous neighborhood.
Although I worked full-time, rents in our area were out-of-sight. It was nearly impossible to afford a rental in a decent area with one income. So rather than move into the ghetto, I decided to marry his dad. In the back of my mind, I figured it would be better for our son to have his parents be divorced than never married. Yes...I know! My logic was terrible back then.
I remember planning for the wedding. Quite simply, I just wasn't into it. I didn't care about the invitations, the dress, favors -- it just didn't matter to me. It felt like something I just had to endure. Since we had to pay for the wedding ourselves (and it was a small one) we had to keep the guest list short. I explained that to his mother over and over. He agreed. Or so I thought. It turned out he went behind my back and gave his mother 20 additional invitations for people she wanted to invite.