Your Weight In Carats
Do I Need To Slap You?
What is it with women and diamond rings? I hear stories about women hyperventilating at the jewelry store when their guy finally slips a ring on their finger. Like this is the focus of their entire lives! Like nothing else mattered up to this point.
I know a gal who is having a baby with a guy. He’s buying her a house where she can raise the baby. He’s buying her a car she can drive around with the baby. (He’s not going to marry her of course…) BUT she wanted a goddamn ring! So he bought her a big fat diamond ring too. NOW she’s happy.
Where did we get this fixation with diamonds as the be-all end-all in relationships? Is the fact that some poor schlub shelled out 3 months salary a greater testament to his love and fealty than his ACTUAL love and fealty? Does a sparkly stone forgive uncaring behavior or lack of attention?
We all want to see the ring on the finger as incontrovertible PROOF that you’ve hooked him. That he’s PROMISING to be with you. NOW you’re an “honest woman.” What about making him an “honest man?” Ok, a ring is a nice symbol you exchange in a wedding ceremony where you promise to love, honor and cherish ‘til you both keel over.
But the DI-A-mond. Ooh. It has to be a huge expensive DI-A-mond. Now you know he loves you. NOW you know it’s real.
Are we really that shallow that we measure how much another person cares for us by what he sticks on our bodies? How about his interest in your health and well-being? How about a big fat IRA contribution for you? Now THAT shows he’s thinking about your future.
The ring, the dress, the flowers, the favors…UGH all that stuff has absolutely NOTHING to do with a happy, loving marriage. Brides agonize over every single detail. It has to be PERFECT. How I wish they would apply the same standards to their grooms!
Me? Cynical? Absolutely. I had a nice diamond with #1. It came in the famous turquoise box. (I still have the diamond – it’s reset in a lovely ring). I had a plain band with #2. I think it’s in a drawer somewhere. But so what. Looking back, AFTER the marriages are over, all that meant diddly-squat.
Ladies, all you have to do is read the stories on this site to KNOW it means diddly-squat. All the girls who happily accepted diamond rings and believed NOW their lives were going to be whole and wonderful, who got all misty-eyed at the OBVIOUS love their men were demonstrating, who finally felt loved and lovable. And NOW read what they’re saying. They’d like to take those rings and shove them somewhere with very, very sensitive mucus membranes.
A ring is a lovely gesture, a generous gift, but it has no more power to generate love than a pyramid can sharpen razor blades. It does not mean you are loved. Loving ACTIONS mean you are loved. Loving actions like tenderness, sensitivity and most importantly, respect. The kinds of actions more precious than any stone, and impossible to fake.
Nothing he can buy for you can possibly demonstrate his love any better than the way he loves you. Stick that on your finger.
