Zip It

It’s been a really fun couple of weeks. Last week, I had to sign my dad into a nursing home and start Hospice care for my mom on the same day. The final verdict on her condition? Stage IV lung cancer with mets to just about every place possible. Life expectancy? Less than two months. If I had to guess, based on how rapidly her condition is deteriorating, I’d say she has far less than that.

Needless to say, this is a very hard time for my sister and I. Not only that, but I’ve had to scramble like a maniac to get everything in order from health care proxy paperwork to power of attorney documents so I can take over their finances and manage their care. It’s so overwhelming. Some days, I just don’t know how I’m going to do it all.

Unfortunately, I’ve had to contact the ex over this situation a bit. I informed him because obviously, our son knows what is going on, and I will need some flexibility in the custody schedule once my mom does die. My mother has specific wishes about how she wants to die. She does not want any intervention. She wants to be cremated. She wants her ashes scattered. She does NOT want any type of funeral, and she only wants to see immediate family during this time (kids, grandchild, and son-in-law).

Many people have asked to see her, and I have explained she simply does not have the energy for any visitors. These are her wishes, and I intend to help her carry them out.

However, apparently, the ex is also an expert in end-of-life affairs. He started yelling at me because I hadn’t contacted my mom’s sister yet (This was as of last week. I have since contacted her.). My mother specifically asked that I wait at that point. The ex has asked repeatedly to see my mom. It’s not that my mom doesn’t like him, she just doesn’t want ANY visitors. He can’t seem to get that through his thick head.